By: Annabelle Saar
This piece was submitted by Campus Safety Officer Theo Saar, who believes it will be “useful to [Wofford] students.” His daughter Annabelle wrote it for her high school English course at Spartanburg Scholars Academy.
“Whore, Bitch, Slut”
Fathers’ words and actions can affect their children’s behavior and condone harmful actions or conjure hope for others in the world. Fathers are a part of a culture that encourages abuse; one that could have dangerous repercussions on his own child. Fathers are role models for their sons and daughters. My father is the perfect valor for other fathers and sons. He has raised and been raised in a way that champions respect for women and condemns the vial act of rape. My father is supportive, brilliant, devout, and a true blessing in my life. How do we now change the natural behavior of men so that they can lead their family and not bring harm to others? We should seek to productively channel men’s natural protective instincts and love of majesty and challenge it. We should direct fathers toward honoring and respecting women, instead of settling for teaching men and boys to simply not rape, because that’s the right thing to do.
A woman’s sexuality is her own… in a sense it is her soul; it is a prized possession that only the deserving are allowed to touch. When a man thinks he can reason with his second brain and suck the soul right from her, he sucks his out right along. To screw a woman when she is passed out on the couch obliterated from alcohol because she cannot escape the soul sucker that lives at home, destroys her completely and mars her sense of sexuality and confidence. My mother and sister have been victims of sexual assault. My mom lived with the abuser for her entire childhood and my sister saw the man at daycare every day. They were affected in the crucial years of childhood and adolescence. My mother raised me in a way so that she could prevent the torture that she endured so I would not have to carry her burden. The selfish act that these men placed upon my protector and innocent sister has made them who they are and will continue to mold them every day.
Jokes and cruel names are the gateway to becoming a sexual abuser and creating a culture that influences rape. Dads cannot comprehend the minefield that awaits when puberty hits. Mean jokes aren’t the dangers that they prepare for when raising a daughter. Even our fathers, who love us with all they are, might laugh at the comments and sometimes even make them. Every time a guy or father makes a joke about a girl or their daughter they are marginalizing the rape culture and making the most scarring four lettered word seem that much more insignificant. They are making the women a statistic. No wonder the 1 out of 5 women who are raped don’t speak up and tell authorities or anyone for that matter. They are experiencing their own little hell every day from the moment they wake up to the second they fall asleep. Anytime you make a rape joke, you are perpetuating it. Oddly enough, it isn’t the girls that don’t get the jokes, it’s the boys. But the jokes that the boys and men make are just for fun, of course. It’s just something that boys do, right?
Women don’t ask to be raped. They don’t ask to be called the names and to have menacing jokes made about them. They don’t ask to be treated like an item for men’s pleasure. Emily Doe did not ask to be raped by Brock Turner. She did not ask him to drag her behind a dumpster and stick his fingers and trash inside of her and be humped by him for 20 minutes. Brock had 20,000 opportunities for self-awareness in the 20 minutes of “action” he was getting. He knew what he was doing was wrong because when two people tried to pull him off of her, he ran. He blamed everything on the booze and promiscuity. Her skirt, shirt, panties, or drunkenness did not ask for anything. My 6 year old sister did not ask to be sexually abused at daycare. A girl does not ask for it when she wears a dress, gets drunk, flirts, or walks alone. The causes of rape are not these, it is the rapist. Nearly 300,000 sexual assaults happen every year in the U.S. and less than 100,000 are reported to the police. Why? Because women have been taught that it is somehow their fault, and the world is stacked against them. It is one of the most embarrassing things to have been raised right, know what you are, and have an education only to be treated like a disposable napkin. Women: rapists are not always the obvious bad guys… they could be our best friends standing right next to us. But as women we cannot play the victims all the time. We have to demand respect. Expecting to be treated like we are supposed to only gets us so far. Demanding that treatment and respect from men is another. This is where fathers step up and teach their daughters how to demand to be treated like the princess they are. But rape is all just for fun of course, something that boys just do.
Don’t let the biggest danger of being a girl simply be that you are a girl. My father taught me how to demand the respect that I am endowed to. He even is raising his 4 year old son in a way that will allow him to flourish as an adult and be the role model that this world needs. My father champions for women and wants to change the cruel world we live in. He wants to bring hope to women in the mires of the shadow they have to live in as well as for the fathers in the world striving to do best by their families. Fathers, don’t let your sons slip through your fingers. Don’t settle for teaching them to simply not rape girls and that no means no. Teach them that yes means yes. Don’t slack off and not teach your precious daughters how to protect their hearts and how to seek to be treated correctly. Dad, please don’t feed the rape culture. Don’t feed that statistical beast. Clean your act up and raise your sons and daughters right. Because behind every joke there is some truth, and if you let your sons fill girls minds with lies and shame, they will start believing; “Whore, Bitch, Slut”.
