The irony of collective culture in an individualist country

If I were to ask you to name your favorite actor or your favorite singer or even your favorite book, I guarantee that you would have different answers than the person next to you. Your favorite color, the food you eat for breakfast—all of these things would be different from those around you.

Why? Because people like to be different. We like to have full customization of every aspect of our lives. Part of the reason capitalism works so well is because it provides us with options. Verizon or Sprint? Apple or PC? Brand new or used? People like to have choices. Some would go as far to say that our choices are what make us human, rather than machine or animal.

So why is it that when it comes to taking action, everyone of us is exactly the same? 

Sure, we may not all have the same jobs, or life goals, but we all operate in patterns and frameworks that lead our lives in the same direction. Almost everyone in the United States has a “traditional job” and very few people are able to break out of the ‘do well in school-go to college-find a career’ pathway that millions of Americans follow.  

There’s not anything particularly wrong with this life direction, although in a country and certainly a society that prides itself on individualism, it comes off as a little strange and perhaps ironic. Afterall, many of our country’s greatest heroes, including the founding fathers, took radical actions to realize their dreams. 

To answer the question why, there’s a lot we have to look at in terms of behavioral psychology. One of the base fears shared by many people is a fear of rejection, a fear that in trying something different or breaking away from social norms, they will be rejected by others in their society or cultural group. According to Psychology Today, the fear of rejection is most easily traced back to a base lack of self-esteem that is common in a lot of people, particularly young people, today. 

Beyond this, humans are a social species. We see interaction as something necessary to our survival and well-being. When presented with the loss of this interaction, most people will retreat back into more limited action. 

People also like patterns. In school, children are learned to think in and follow patterns in all of their classes, and for the most part this is a good thing. Most of the world functions in patterns. However, it also means that most people are more susceptible to following old patterns and traditions, even when they may be adverse of that person’s goals.

A good example of this could be with someone who wants to start a business. They are given the option of either going to college or going straight into internships and business seminars. The traditional path will tell them they are not ready, and that they need to go to college first. While this might help them in the long run, it’s possible that it puts them in a lot of debt or takes away valuable time. 

The goal here is not to undermine your college education, or to suggest that any one option is bad, but rather to get you to question. Question your choices, question your motivations, and question your actions. And more than that, don’t be afraid to step out of line. The traditional path is not always the best for everyone, and sometimes it takes a little rebellion to get on the right track.

Written by Donner Rizzo-Banks