DISCLAIMER: Article part of Old Black & Blue

Author: By: Delia Wythe Itt

Despite recent talks facilitated by Wofford College’s Model UN team, it appears the rift between administration and Greek Life has been further deepened. Following over a year of mudslinging, policy writing and stern finger-wagging, the two parties had come together to negotiate a peace treaty.

The head of the Greek delegation was N. Tite Led, president of the most prominent fraternity on campus, Delta Iota Kappa, lovingly known as DIK for short. What began as civil enough proceedings quickly spiraled out of control, resulting in the toppling of the terrier statue in front of the Campus Life Building as well as the vandalizing of Benjamin Wofford’s gravesite.

The chaotic upheaval was orchestrated by Led himself, who was heard saying, “If we can’t have our traditions, neither can the school.”

In an exclusive interview with Led and his fellow fraternity brothers following the mini riots, our newsroom discovered the meaning behind his inflammatory battle cry.

“Members of DIK are upstanding citizens. We provide guidance and vitality to the campus, we offer the most appealing social engagements and we truly portray a wholesome and inclusive campus community,” he says. “This institution could not survive without the help we, and our father’s bank accounts, offer, so it is preposterous that the school should so blatantly discriminate against members of Greek Life.”

The DIK chapter cites loss of tradition as their major grievance.

Rich Wyner, vice president of DIK, says, “We have been on this campus for hundreds of years, before any of these administrative members were even born. Who are they to tell us what we, as free-thinking college students, can or cannot do?”

Led adds, “Our wellbeing and livelihoods are being threatened with their unrighteous decrees.”

To be discussed were grievances over the outlawing of hazing, increased safety regulations of social events and implementation of educational programming.

“The school may call it hazing, but we just believe it’s tough love. These pledges come in cocky and full of confidence. A little bit of humbling never hurt anyone,” says Wyner. “Besides, what happens behind closed doors should not be the school’s business, regardless of any and all damages to property and student wellbeing that may be incurred.”

“Administration has stringently forbidden hazing practices which most greatly impacts our pledges, but they are also affecting all brothers,” says Led. “If we want to throw a themed party, that should be a decision left up to us. We are using creativity and excising our inherent rights to plan and enact these parties. The school views everything so sensitively, so the imagination of our brothers is being stifled due to fragile identities and power complexes.”

Supposedly, these issues of stifling tradition were on the docket for discussion at the peace talks, but sadly were never covered as the conversation broke down during a heated debate over whether the fraternities could erect poles flying their organizations’ flags next to the American flag in the Horseshoe.

“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to my Brotherhood for which it stands, am I right?” says T. Rust Funders, a recently initiated DIK member.

In the meantime, members of the administration have requested the brothers of DIK pay for all damages sustained during the riot. In return, the DIK members have threatened a lawsuit for “discriminatory prejudice leading to the assumption of their involvement in the incident.” Led declined to comment on the legal action.

DISCLAIMER: Article part of Old Black & Blue