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Old Gold & Black

Old Gold & Black

Old Gold & Black

“Black Brittle Star”

“Black Brittle Star”

By: Savanny Savath, Staff Writer

The first F word he used

on me was not

fuck.

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It was

faggot

in a discounted

hotel room

stuffed with two beds

and a family of five.

 

Today was Christmas,

and my brother presented me a word

I could wear

like the white, fleece jacket

our mother gave me earlier that day.

 

It didn’t fit quite right—

 

A family vacation

at the beach

in the middle of winter.

The trail of orange starfish

frozen under the pier,

stars not enough for the sky.

Not enough for me

to be a girl who loves

like the waves love to kiss

the knuckles of the shore,

grainy cusps bleeding back

to the sea.

 

My brother was always messing up

words like rape for rap

two words that struck

sharp on my ears, beating down

the canals.

Leaving me…

a shriveled sea star

for my family

to burn later in a bonfire.

 

But I left the room and waded

for the riptide because

sea stars have no brains and no blood.

One of many shriveled sea stars that inspired this poem. This poem is also based on true events during the winter holidays.
One of many shriveled sea stars that inspired this poem. This poem is also based on true events during the winter holidays.

 

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