A balanced consideration of Burwell dining hall

            Here we are, at the end of the academic year. It’s not quite like we pictured it, but nevertheless it has arrived. And rather than complain about the present circumstances, (but mainly because I’m running behind on the article deadline) I have decided to fill this article with the scathing hot take that Wofford didn’t know it needed, but is going to get anyway. Are you ready? Here it is: Burwell is actually pretty good.

            Now I don’t necessarily mean the food. If we’re being honest, it’s pretty hit or miss, with the hit:miss ratio resembling something like a glaucoma-ridden archer’s efforts after a PCP bender. Rather, from a social perspective, Burwell is the great mediator. While on the surface it may seem the main function of this establishment is to serve food, it’s really to bridge the gaps between groups on Wofford’s campus. For freshmen to seniors alike, our beloved Burschwizzle is a safe haven where students can gather in fellowship seeking respite from classes, homework, or whatever troubles may have come their way.

            They say it’s the little things in life, and sometimes those little things take the form of conversation with friends over a dry, punished pastry or pizza so oily it could rival a water cooler at the BP headquarters. Joke about it as we might, most of us would give our last Terrier Buck to be back there right now. 

            While I’m at it I might as well toss out a couple opinions of my own. After all, it is an Op-Ed. So here goes. Opinion number one: the turkey sausages they have once a week or so are vastly better than the usual ones in the breakfast line. Some naysayers complain they’re slimy or mealy, and to that I say: “No, you’re wrong, they’re tasty.” The normal ones are greasy, whereas with the turkey sausages I can really taste the protein. It comes through with gumption.

Opinion number two (well, really a question): what is the point of the gelato line? No one uses it. One reason could be that students have to be served instead of grabbing it themselves. Repurpose that area and channel it to serve exclusively onion rings or something else. Also, on the topic of the dessert bar, someone needs to talk about how deceptive most of the treats—especially the brownies—look. At first glance they look like a whole snack, but after the fact they taste like shame. 

Opinions three through six: Cereal to-go is a viable option, if you bring your own tupperware. The orange juice isn’t ideal but it is passable. The side booths are great study spots to cram before an exam. Give the onion rings a shot. I absolutely adore onion rings. But the onion ring is a state of mind, it’s different for everyone. You need to find your onion ring. So whenever you’re back at Wofford, get your friends, grab a table, sit down and be grateful you’re in the place you love.

Or microwave some ramen. Whatever makes you happy.