Step foot on Wofford College’s lush, cozy campus, and it doesn’t take long to figure out that something about the campus is starkly different from its bordering streets. An outsider might wonder if it is the small, intimate, communal bond shared by the students and faculty, or the sleepy, southern vibe presented grandly by the picture-perfect landscaping on Wofford’s campus. But living long enough here will help one come to realize that something far more sinister pervades the atmosphere: Wofford’s Squirrels.
The squirrels that roam Wofford’s campus do so with an unsettling confidence, well acclimated to the pedestrian-trafficked environment. Students are all too familiar with the bold nature of these critters, who will pounce on a morsel such as a stray Chick-fil-A waffle fry. Accounts of squirrels harassing students came pouring in when I reached out to the student body over social media. Various squirrels faced allegations such as growling at students or pelting them with acorns, even cracking the phone screen of one. Carter Gilmore ’21 said she still has a scar on her foot where one scratched her through her sock.
But as of late the local rodent narrative has taken a darker turn. Dead squirrels have started to crop up, especially within a close proximity to Old Main. Aniah Kaltz ’22 noticed the body of one particular specimen plastered to the ground, soaking wet and devoid of much hair, leading some others, including myself, to think it was a rat. However, upon further inspection, the corpse was determined to be a squirrel. Another squirrel corpse was recently found outside of Greene, its body respectfully covered with tin foil.
Had it not been for another, more disturbing, incident early in January, one dead squirrel here or there might not be a big deal. Greene resident Alisa Rogers witnessed a different squirrel than her initial account, hurl itself from one of the large trees behind Old Main onto the ground, perhaps in a dramatic act of desperation. Its dead body laid and festered there for several days; I recount this vividly because I, myself, had the misfortune of nearly running over it with my bike.
So, what is behind these deaths? Natural causes seem unlikely, although predators such as large birds have been observed preying on these animals. But given their unfavorable track record, is it too much to wonder if someone has it out for the squirrels, and is beginning to pick them off, one by one? Could the self-inflicted death of the aforementioned squirrel be a chance one-off? I do not pretend to know the answer, but I bring this issue to light hoping that someone comes up with one soon, as the creatures do pose a legitimate issue in regard to the security and welfare of Wofford residents. Whether it be squirrel-sacrifice, human-intended squirrel-annihilation, or mere happenstance, I hope that the truth of these squirrel’s tragic fate surfaces, and that both man and squirrely-beast can sleep at night, in bed and tree alike.
Caption: Wofford Squirrels have been found dead recently with no substantial explanation justifying the state of their corpses.
Written by Chalmers Rogland
